Don’t let typical new year goal setting rob you of the real gift of this season.
DO back up and pause wisely before setting intentions that might still be coming from old programming rather than your true potential (like a master pole vaulter backing up to clear the higher bar of your true desires and possibilities you don’t even know of yet).
This new 6-module process is the best version of a new year onramp I’ve ever been inspired to create (after 20+ years coaching, learning, evolving).
I want you to have an amazing, fulfilling, and prosperous 2019 and beyond. Let’s see what’s possible!
I just had an eye-opening, heart-pounding conversation with a former client who was about to make a big decision in her business and life. What started as a brief Happy New Year call blossomed into an hour-plus coaching session/workout for both of us that had us laughing and a bit in awe with respect for the value of that kind of pausing, challenging, exploring “under the hood,” and asking the right questions! One nugget to share is that we prevented a possible betrayal of her true self and authentic potential (never mind some unnecessary distress, resentment, etc.) She’s now way more empowered to set herself up to have an amazing year and beyond. We helped her step into her sovereignty and make prosperous choices coming from a “real queen” rather than a possible inner girl in a queen’s costume coming from lack (without realizing that was happening), trying to succeed and keep her safe and happy. We revealed unexamined assumptions, hidden fears, the dangers of cultural norms and well-intended but limiting advice from others. She’s now equipped to step forward making prosperous, wise choices for the inspired leadership & life she gets to enjoy and pay forward.
This is a perfect time to pause and consider your own proactive betrayal prevention/ really setting yourself up to create what could be a turning point year for you! (You don’t need to have any big decisions to explore right now. Just taking advantage of this season of entering a new year is big enough.)
Resolutions often fail because they stem from guilt, or something we want to correct. Do you ever feel like a Year End Gorilla comes in to sit on your chest, pointing out various “not enoughs” and how the year has not measured up? Or maybe a complacency sets in with “good enoughs” becoming the enemy of your best potential joy, prosperity, impact, and feeling lucky to get to live the life you do.
I want you to be waking up inspired and falling asleep proud & grateful.
Resolutions generally don’t work because they come from “should” energy and we expect to accomplish something with more focus and discipline. What does work is mining more deeply for the right inspiration, and then smart set up and support.
I’ve seen the power of clients really pausing to assess their life, livelihood and leadership, dive deeper into what’s running them from their “inner board of directors” and consciously create new intentions coming from a very different energy. They are celebrating…
What would YOU love to be celebrating by the end of 2019?
Don’t deny yourself (and others you interact with) this gift. Don’t let the default of typical goal-setting steer you toward critical energy, such as “What’s wrong that I need to fix?” There’s a temptation to end up in territory that subtly says you’ve been a bad girl or boy and now you’re going to clean up your act once and for all. Don’t go there and don’t let others push you there. How well does that truly motivate you?
Also, please have unconditional compassion for this as just part of human nature. The good news is that you get to choose to intentionally create what you do really want in smarter ways.
In the privilege of working with bright leaders and complex human beings for 20+ years, I’ve learned how essential it is to create the right energy and mind-frame before embarking on a new year (or conscious creation of anything that matters to you).
In fact, I now have a humbling appreciation for the one game-changing lead question; What energy am I coming from? Begin to notice how this actually runs deeper than your “big why” or purpose. It’s tapping into your inner power and thus the root, root cause of your fulfilling potential flourishing or flatlining.
2019 feels like a potent year for a new paradigm of growth to emerge for many leaders feeling a calling or healthy restlessness that something wants to change. How are you feeling about going into this new year? You might sense not wanting to just stay in business as usual, yet not know what the next phase promises. It might feel weird, exciting, scary, confusing, and inviting you to wake up to a new way of being and doing. Maybe you’ve had the rug pulled out from under you in the past or felt betrayed somehow, (or other bugs in your subtle sabotage programming) so a subconscious protective part of you inhibits you from going for the next level of potential fulfillment and impact you are meant to enjoy. I’m fascinated with what it really takes to let go of old success formulas and false beliefs hiding in your inner programming trying to run you and upgrade into the best possibilities available, if you only could open those secret gates. 😊
This is possible. And it’s time.
I’ve come out of my own shattered to shining sort of alchemy growth; kicked off with brother’s death 6 years ago, then big life change move to California, felt top of game & best ever life bliss for a couple years, then a shocking catalyst and a consciously chosen sabbatical to pause (2015) and take a deeper dive into inner alchemy work of upgrading old programming I didn’t know was lurking in there. In the darkest phase years ago, I was humiliated (personal life rug-pulled-out thing I didn’t see coming), and thought I shouldn’t be coaching anymore. Now, I appreciate the gifts from this whole experience and I’m so excited to be able to come from a new depth of strength, humility, presence and ability to serve as an alchemy midwife for my clients’ greater potential in ways I could not bring if I had not gone through that fire. I have a grateful full belly of working with new clients and a new confidence that I am sitting on a goldmine of gifts to share through me. You don’t need to feel shattered to end up shining. I think we can midwife your emerging self by choice and some willingness to step beyond your comfort zones in saying yes to the call of your evolving future self.
Are you curious about how to access your real power and finally find your wings?
AWARENESS & AUDIT
2018 inventories; 1) Celebrations 2) Disappointments 3) Habits 4) Calendar
The idea is to reflect on these inventories before declaring intentions for the new year. This might also be a non-linear process. Let’s discuss what works best for you.
Do yourself and the world a favor by starting with a Celebration Inventory. Take the time; at least an hour. I promise you it’s worthwhile ROI. Review the prior year coming from an encouraging, applauding, generous energy. Imagine a character that believes in you, helping with this review, generously emphasizing the value or learning gains or positive growth framing of it all. He or she might say “I’m proud of you for…I admire your perseverance about …” and so on.
Here are thought starters for your own Celebration Inventory:
Open with gratitude. Scan the year and let some things come up for “I am grateful for …” Be aware of the normal externals (I’m grateful for X circumstantial, outer things). Be sure to also dive into your internals (I’m grateful for my resilience… my growing awareness… my ability to…my sense of peace around…). Let me know any questions here. It’s a bit of a practice.
Review your coaching notes, calendar, journal, meeting notes or anything else that might refresh your memory to mine for some golden awareness.
Lean into what a generous Champion (loves you, wants the best for you, sees you and what you are capable of more than your conditioned mind or limited beliefs can) would appreciate about YOU. Qualities, et al.
When are you at your best, in your “zone”? Who are you being in those moments (or anything else you can notice about this energy state flowing well)?
What brings you joy?
What are you proud of?
What truly nourishes you (to be coming from your greater potential/best self)? Notice cultural norms that are “supposed” to nourish but may not really do this for you. What REALLY nourishes you?
Think of times when you showed up with a person/ group/ situation and let your imagined Champion celebrate you and the specific qualities it took for you to show up that way.
Acknowledge sheer effort (Hey look, you attended 623 meetings this year!)
Acknowledge progress in awareness, learning, new things tried, etc.
Celebrate growth in who you are becoming.
Notice insights about what has been most fulfilling and worked out well (to inform how to best invest your energy moving forward). What else is working well in your life?
Take a bow for the above and really acknowledge what it took (courage, willingness, compassion, etc.).
Celebrate any other waves of gratitude in various areas of your life.
Write down highlights. The value is in the process of doing this, not really the final document. You could also record this while on a hike or however you want to capture your awareness.
I do this live with clients, helping to draw out deeper awareness and encourage them to gain the insights for allowing what they really want to emerge from greater potential and creating a smart set up for this new year to be new.
Here’s a simple menu of areas to scan (that overlap, not really separate) if this helps stir up reflections:
For the Comments section, you might begin to feel into what you DO want to create in the new year. Don’t declare just tactical goals for things you want to have or accomplish. Start with your heart and soul… what matters most to you expressed as a desired feeling state? This gives you more of the true spirit of what you desire. It reveals your higher agenda, that might be achieved through various strategies or tactics than you may plan or not!
Examples: I would love to…
Feel consistently energized, with pep in step vitality every day.
Feel delighted about how my leadership is empowering others.
Feel at peace and a chosen sense of letting go/ completion about X relationship/ situation.
Feel resilient and compassionate with myself, welcoming all of my feelings in a way that embodies “I fear not storm for I have learned how to love all of me and know how to steer my ship from deep within no matter what may be happening out there!”
Feel pleased and proud of how I am being with X
Feel thrilled with my effective, efficient use of X…
1) Disappointments [to transform into true Desires]
Scan the year for disappointments. Let them linger in your awareness and be willing to sit and really feel your feelings in that disappointment.
Also, notice where or what might be ways you harm yourself, unintended self-sabotage, self-abandoning, et al?
How might you be playing small? What else wants to be revealed about limitations to being your fully expressed potential?
Underneath each disappointment, be unconditionally compassionate and curious.
What is the possible gift/lesson/blessing from deeply experiencing this disappointment? What is the DESIRE wanting to emerge; have your attention?
Another powerful “audit” is to notice what you complain about. We can explore the fruits to harvest from this more together.
One way to gain the value from a disappointment (and not linger in possible victim energy, etc.) is to play a game with the sentence stem “This is the BEST thing that ever happened because….” Stretch! You might find yourself laughing and in a new vibrational energy that inspires you to go for what you do really want to create. (I did this recently while on a hike, and it was tremendously helpful in turning an ending of a situation into a catalyst for much greater clarity and commitments in the beginning of 2019, that might not have been as clear if not for this disappointment!) Imagine saying thank you to the disappointment for the Desire and commitment that is now more clearly named and claimed.
2) Spy on yourself; review the year considering habit patterns. Check out Big Rocks vs. sand & gravel. What’s creeps in and ends up being the sand & gravel pre-empting your Best Self and true priorities having your attention and higher potential flourishing?
3) Take an honest look at how your calendar may be running you (exec assistant scheduling, et al) or are you really consciously choosing? Audit this bravely and boldly to help you upgrade how this flows in this new year! What are the strong, sincere Yeses that qualify what belongs on your calendar? What are the new No’s? What would the ideal calendar/scheduling flow upgrade look like? What will it take to make that stick? What’s a first step for now?
Success Inventory, Getting down to your Blank Canvas underneath a lifetime of inherited influences, false dream distortions that have accumulated as your picture of success, like layers of paint, images, assumptions (whole history, not just 2018). There is a separate template worksheet for this (we’ll work on in coaching/ group course).
RELEASING all of this, letting go- fresh blank canvas…
Beware of Identity Theft
Who/what inside of you is trying to run you?
What energy are you coming from? What are you feeding? What’s fueling you?
Outer What to Inner What spiral
Gilligan consciousness (limited, projection)
Inner Board of Directors: Three primary energies. Gain game-changing awareness and self-mastery over time.
Diving deeper to discover root cause; limiting, false programming to dissolve and allow update, upgrade in your system.
The three Power Questions:
o What energy am I coming from?
o Why am I here?
o What’s my most important job?
More releasing, clearing, letting go of identities, stories, strategies…
Clear the way for visioning to come from clearer, higher energy not hidden bugs in your inner programming, etc.
Incompletions, Habitual Thinking & New Freedom
We might also explore where are you still feeling “incomplete”? Incompletions bug us like a bad song in our heads that won’t go away. It’s cause clogs in our system with stagnant energy and distractions. There could be a tangible conversation or other action to take, or other ways of fostering a peaceful heart and mind to make room for fresh energy to flow.
We can also probe the ways your habitual thinking keeps you recycling in old neighborhoods rather than allowing and generating new creative possibilities. The good news is that there is a breakthrough paradox about letting go of trying to control your thoughts and emotions or get rid of them. We’ll cultivate a practice of having “no problem” with things your mental machinery manufactures as problems to solve.
Consider a Releasing Ritual. It can be simple, and very powerful.
Take quality time to reflect on the thoughts and feelings that may be “clogging up” your energy- keeping you tethered to old plans and stories, rather than free to create new inspiring intentions and adventures from a clean, blank canvas and fresh potential. Imagine a cleansing that brings closure. Write down your “stuff to release” (e.g. little scraps of paper for each item) and then safely burn these (e.g. outdoors in a grill or fire pit). As an example, my client Mia wrote down some goals that did not work out the way she had originally envisioned. She also wanted to release pressure about previous expectations, disappointments, etc. As each little story was burned away, she spoke out loud things like “I am letting go of any attachment to this. I release it completely. I forgive myself and others and wish us all being at our best. I release my need to understand “why.” I release this all with Love that surpasses logic and reason. I am now free of any limiting beliefs from this experience or the stories I made up in my busy brain about this. It is finished… done. ” Lots of breathing felt great too. You get the idea.
2020 Vision! Best possible sight-setting.
Visioning, not conditioned-mind projected vision. Receiving, letting new paradigm emergence, greater possibilities, “higher outer” to come through you, coming from clearer energy…
If you really cleared away all perceived shoulds, stories, strategies and went for crazy ideal what you totally want- play out that fantasy.
Play with various ways of visioning- extreme ego polarities, then third emergence that is neither = unknown emergent truth wanting to express through you now.
2019 Vision, Top Inspiring Intentions.
Flowing off of this “cleaner” energy, ask your deepest heart and infinite potential the following:
In this new year, I would LOVE to create _________________________________.
What really wants to express through me in this new year is _____________.
My greatest Joy is _________________.
We’ll find your unique, game-changing questions in coaching as well. Create your own questions and commitments. Let it flow!
Now, frame your intentions/commitments (and even that is a distinction- what is a wish or intention and what are you truly committed to?). What is genuinely inspiring and sustainable?
Play with how you declare your intentions. Notice “I am committed to experiencing fun with….. ” rather than “Stop being lazy or shy about XYZ.” This may seem obvious, but you only you know how your inner critic and other voices sneak in. So, give that voice a hug, knowing that underneath that fear and doubt is a buried wound that is an invitation for unconditional Love. And underneath that is your true essence power. And let the power of unconditional Love-Wisdom-Courage-Inspired Confidence-Possibility move you forward into a glorious new year!
Another great way to play with this is to tune into your deeper wisdom/ Inspired Self within. Breathe. Relax. Let go. Imagine emptying out completely, connecting to that dimension of self that doesn’t need to be attached to anything. Let the fears or doubts or desires that come from that sort of grasping, needing X to make me happy sort of energy to be lovingly absorbed in a greater wisdom. Rest in this ocean of unconditional open energy and infinite possibility. Just be open to a fresh start and being moved from a deeper well of inspiration and evolutionary impulse. Then, imagine your Inspired Self filling you up with what's possible, what you are inspired to be up to. What does that deeper inspiration want of you, for you, through you? What is truly inspiring and contributing to something greater than our smaller desires? What is your greatest potential; Love expressing through you? At a Conscious Capitalism conference a speaker was excited by one of my acronyms and asked if he could use it in his presentation. We talked about how you can be a leader that keeps “trying harder” or paradoxically let go and be one who LEADS. Love Expressing As Desired by Source (or your Soul/Spirit). Have fun with this.
This is not a one-time process. It’s becomes a practice.
INTEGRATION & IMPLEMENTATION
How operationalize this?
Morning Fuel/ Launchpad daily
Hit the Pause Button during day
End of day celebration, continuous awareness…
Other: smart set up, accountability, new tribe, so on…
I want you to have an amazing, fulfilling, and prosperous 2019. If I can support you in that, it would be my sincere pleasure. Thank you in advance for any possible input for this “lab” work serving new inspired leadership flourishing more as well. I look forward to connecting soon.
Happy New Year!
It might help to hear a few client experiences in this journey:
1) Working with Marian has simply transformed my life. She has helped me unearth my mission of creating positive social impact. She knows how to bring out the greatness in me. She has superhuman EQ and is intrinsically motivated to inspire her clients. She has a delightful way of gaining understanding of what makes me tick, what my inner most intentions are and what obstacles may be impeding my progress. She "gets" me. She sometimes knows me better than I know myself. She nudges and supports me, more importantly, she knows how to effectively challenge me. Why do I especially love coaching calls this time of year with Marian that are focused on planning for the future? I am predominantly a left-brained, linear thinker. Marian has the unique ability to tap my right brain, creative side. This dramatically transforms the nature of my energy and thinking around planning and creating an inspiring vision of the future. For example, in a recent call with Marian, I progressed from contemplating another boring business plan template to an energizing outline to "Fuel My Inner Warrior Mission for this year"...and began the exciting process to articulate my "2020 Vision." Marian rocked my world! -Bob A.
2) Every day I get to experience the sweet satisfaction of doing work that I love, and it makes me smile.
At a certain point, I was able to see the truth (lie) of my situation because my life was so off kilter. And with that tah-dah came the realization that I might need help.
I am now better prepared for challenges and ability to create more joyful flow with work, colleagues, family and friends.
Marian’s ability to drop the clutter and fortify the foundations of your innermost wishes and desires is brilliant. She has experience, knowledge, all the coolest tools, and a boatload of heartfelt compassion for those of us in the trenches. You couldn’t ask for a better partner through the thick and the thin.
I get a safe place to bounce ideas around. Imagine being able to say your wildest thoughts and dreams and not worry about being judged!
There is now someone in my life who is working for me. My coach listens, and listens, and challenges, and pokes, and prods, and then whoosh I’m are off to the drawing board as a flood of ideas take shape.
Who would have thought I’d have such a consistent partner, champion, guide and expert
working with me to bring the best possible solutions and opportunities, and encouraging me to step up on the stage and take that chance?
Each little success has me feeling good, balanced and whole about my work; that it really is “Life”.
I know that Marian loves what she does, it comes through in every call we have. After much work, I too love what I do as my livelihood, and it’s great to experience the possibilities that are an outpouring of the creative energy we generate together on a coaching call. It’s magic.
I’m keep coaching to keep those possibilities and opportunities growing. - S.S.
3) This experience was such a powerful vision quest. Marian has a unique way of partnering with her clients. She was right there with me, guiding me along and waiting for the time to ask pertinent questions that moved me forward. And, then there was follow up and homework to keep me on my path. I even had the amazing surprise of her singing me thru a part of the process; that was a special treat, one in which words escape me. But the sound of her voice held me and surrounded me, allowing me to find more of myself coming through. Isn't that something we all need more of? – Elaine U.